Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? Q: What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp? That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself." Flowers A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now." And her boyfriend asks "Why, don't you have a vase?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet. The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. " The girl smiles and says "Yes it is" Rich & Poor A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. " And the poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo.
If only God can judge us, then Santa has some explaining to do. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican. Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments. In about 20 years, the hardest thing our kids will have to do is find a username that isn't taken. Why do medications never have any good side effects?
Clean dating jokes one liners
' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" ' 20.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'It also features risqué jokes about religion, anorexia - and animal cruelty. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. 'I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".' 14. 'A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!
You can go through the list of females in your neighbourhood to browse through their pictures.
" Little Charles Little Charles approached his mother and asked her "Mummy, whats a girlfriend" To which his mum replied "If you're a good boy, you will get one." Charles then asked, "What if I am a bad boy?
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as if it might be something else, like a penguin.
I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? Boobs are just proof that men can focus on two things at once. Just once I'd like to read a medicine bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness" Some day when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them. If you were ground coffee, you'd be Espresso cause you're so fine. I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen I thought happiness started with an H. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged! Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick. It shows when someone touches her phone or her boyfriend. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.. This time, Michelle didn't get home until very late. Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend?