One of the funniest moments of our pre-relationship (we worked together, both nursing crushes for 6 months before I made the first move) was when we were talking about Bones and he mentioned that some Japanese men find Caucasian women very attractive. This is why it took 6 months to get things started. I'll jump in here as a man, if I may, although my situation is the opposite way round.
I explained that there are some of us who fancy them, too. On the arguing point; what tends to happen with me and the partner is that so many potential confrontations kind of get brushed aside, or stored away somewhere usually labelled at as 'well, we're front opposite ends of the world'.
I came across a blog post by zoomingjapn, a German girl living in Japan, writing about dating in Japan as a foreigner. She writes, ‘It is comparably easy for a western foreign man to find a Japanese woman or to have a nice relationship here in Japan’, but ‘it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan.’ Her story is interesting in itself but the most interesting part of the article is the huge number of comments gets – 162 comments (or about 30,000 words! A lot of people who commented actually disagree with her.
In particular, non-Japanese guys tend to disagree because they don’t think it’s easy to date Japanese girls. Overall, does it mean that it’s hard to date Japanese people regardless of your gender? If you are in a foreign country with a completely different culture, it is logical that you might have a hard time dating.
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According to my Japanese husband, a Japanese man with a foreign girlfriend is seen to be 1) rich and/or 2) well endowed. Some of what you said holds true for my relationship, too-- like expectations of a psychic nature and general PDA, but because my guy spent puberty in England, he's a bit weird for here, I guess.
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It is commonly believed that dating in Japan is easy for non-Asian (particularly white) men and hard for women.
My personal experience also tells me that dating in Japan is completely feasible and a lot of my friends seem to be doing OK with dating here.
Then the real question is this: what is the difference between successful and unsuccessful people?
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This kind of indirectness is also evident during conversations, for instance you may be discussing a topic like economic recession or environmental degradation and you may notice he won't directly give his opinion on the matter.