“If that were true, they would be lowering their standards. In fact, she notes that older women are a lot more selective than older men and younger women are when it comes to picking a partner If anything, it’s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating.
In a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), Adshade says older women really aren’t disadvantaged on the dating market.
Because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a “nurse with a purse.” They tend to marry quicker than older women, but it isn’t because older women can’t find a hubby; it’s because women are more likely to be looking for a short-term relationship or a companion, not a husband.
When dating, we are more open to trying out new things, thus a wider gap we list as acceptable. We had very little to talk about or discuss, and never been very close. There was really nothing connecting us except our interest in each other.
But relationships are more than just movies and dinners, and moonlight walks on the beach. Other research suggests that the ideal gap in relationships is 4.4 years, and divorced people tend to have a larger disparity in subsequent marriages. Young people usually pair up within their age group, as at that point in life their circle of communication is limited to people of about the same maturity. By then our circles of acquaintances grow to be more spread through generations, and personal values and life style become more important than how old the two partners are.
The persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships.
That may be true for younger people, but that isn’t always the case at this age, she says.
In our interview, I asked Lisa this question directly and she gave me a simple answer.
Single men in their 60s are looking for a woman who is feminine and is willing to help them feel like a man. For women who have been trying to find that illusive “special someone” for a while, this may seem like an impossible question to answer.After all, for most of our lives, men were simple creatures.Here’s what’s happened in the past year — two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. So, because of that and the fact that we live longer, she says, it’s worth putting the time and energy into looking for love regardless of your age.They are all 50-something, empty-nesters and divorced. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don’t necessarily want the same things.Age difference between partners has long been a question of interest.