In the endless trend stories about adolescent “hook up culture,” the voices of young men are often conspicuously absent.
Reporting for NBC News, Abigail Pesta begins to fill that gap with a piece on how teenage boys experience sex and relationships in the age of the sext.
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In reality, boys “often expressed a desire for a deeper connection with girls, but felt confused about how to make it happen.” She quotes one 15-year-old sexter who told a classmate, “Well, I want my dick in your mouth?
” then followed it up with a more traditionally romantic plea: “Will you at least be my girlfriend." This peek into the mind of the modern teen boy is largely based on the work of psychologist Catherine Steiner-Adair, who interviewed 1,000 American students (and pored over their texts and Facebook messages) for her new book, Steiner-Adair concludes that technology has stunted adolescent relationships, thanks to the “the influence of online porn,” the flattening of “nuance and body language” in textual communication, and the decline of teens going steady.
“To be sure, some boys have always been crude,” Pesta writes.
But modern lovers have taken the dynamic to “new extremes.” It’s great that Steiner-Adair is actually talking to boys, but it doesn’t sound like she fully understands the way that they text.
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