I'm in ahh, a hotel…I don't know I've been on the road so long I..
I don't even know what city I'm in any more to be honest.
Their spat took off in 2009, however, when Kimmel's then-girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, debuted her confessional smash single, "I'm Fucking Matt Damon." (has compiled a helpful timeline.) As detailed during the session, Damon has been waiting to appear on for 12 years, and since he's technically scheduled each night, he has to show up. " As the session continued, Damon revealed that he doesn't just show up each night, but actually lives in the dressing room, while Kimmel insisted that the actor was a spoiled star who could not accept that wasn't his show. "I took the shit over and fucking busted the ratings wide open." "You taped up my head! "It felt like duct tape was suffocating me." Still, the pair inched closer to a breakthrough, with Kimmel admitting he liked some of Damon's friends, and Damon saying, "I like his show — I wouldn't have waited for 12 years to get on if I didn't like the show." In closing, Kimmel promised to get Damon a small TV (but no Wi-Fi) for his basement dressing room apartment, and try harder to actually have him on the show.
While Kimmel defended the prolonged delay by noting his one-hour show has other guests, a band, a monologue and "important commercials," the pair quickly started sniping at each other. Though the host quickly qualified, "Just not tonight because this counseling thing has gone on a long time." After the clip of the session ended with an emotional — and destructive — hug, Kimmel remained true to his word, ordering Guillermo and his security detail to escort Damon off the set.
While Damon believed Kimmel had finally acquiesced to letting him on the show during therapy, the host insisted he had only said he would "try" to squeeze the actor in.
Kimmel and Damon's feud dates back to the early days of when the host wasn't yet welcoming top tier guests and would end his show by joking, "Apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time tonight." As the show's popularity grew, Damon started popping up, but Kimmel regularly found a reason to bump him.
Sarah Silverman: I'm fucking Matt Damon Matt Damon: She's fucking Matt Damon Sarah Silverman: I'm sorry but it's true Sarah Silverman: I'm fucking Matt Damon Matt Damon: She's fucking Matt Damon Sarah Silverman: I'm not imagining it's you Sarah Silverman: I'm fucking Matt Damon Matt Damon: On the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door, in the tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar Sarah Silverman: I'm fucking Matt Damon Matt Damon: She's fucking Matt Damon Sarah Silverman: While you're drinking diet Snapple Sarah Silverman: I said I'm fucking Matt Damon Matt Damon: She said she's fucking Matt Damon Matt Damon: Hey Kimmel, how do you like them apples? 'Cause, 'cause I'm talking about her breasts…Sarah Silverman: Yeah…it's…it's funny…
Sarah Silverman: Hey Jim, don't take it bad…Remember all the good times we had…Like the time we went fishing…And we caught a bunch of fish…Then you puked in the bucket…On the fish that we caught…
"He is verbally abusive to me and couches it as 'truth.' What am I supposed to do? "When you wanted to buy that zoo, what did I tell you?
Never was a story of more woe than this of Jimmy Kimmel and his Matt Damon-o.
Will: I'm dating Matt damon Amy: your dating matt Damon well I'm dating hannah montana HM : she's dating hannah Montana backstage at my concerts dates me on my parents bed after school at my locker in the car I give her head im also dating the flava Flava: yeah boy she's dating flava flave fool you know what time it is because I'm dating junie toooo aaarrrgggghhhh Junie: yeah I know but it's true flava flavee dates me to Junie's boyfriend: and I swap with Calvin and he swaps with that dude Lisa Calvin junie and her boyfriend: and were all dating hell boy Hell boy: ohhhhhh yeeeaaahh they're dating hell boy and I'm dating the hulk Hulk: when I get really mad I start dating iron man Iron man: the most uncomfortable screw but I date the princess to Princess: ding dong Prince: who's that ringing on my bell Princess: the chick who's dating iron man that's I-R-O-N M-A-N and I like his tin can Prince: that's really freak cos I'm dating Wolfe Wolfe: hhhhoooouuuuuggggg dating Wolfe ain't that a pitty cos I'm dating those broads from sex and the city hhhhhhhoooooouuuuggggg Carrie: he dates the sex and the city gals and so I wondered would Wolfe really get jealous if he new we were dating that guy with the big utillity belt Batman: they're all dating batman at Wayne manor in the batcave butler alfred is our love slave riddle me this holy bathouse I'm also dating amy winehouse Amy Winhouse: he's dating amy winehouse on the down low low low and I'm dating jessica Simpson cos it's how I roll roll roll Jessica Simpson: she dating jessica Simpson ohhh yeaaahh and I think I might have dated that hot assassin Hot assension: everyone dates me and I date them back you see and the Mexican to with the tradgic hair do Mexican: call it heads I'm dating JT JT: i'm dating that male model cos he's so fine and I like to get up in those Calvin kleins Model: it's true JT dates me once again but I'm also dating prince caspian Prince caspian: I am handsome and I am cool that's why this prince dates the kids from high school HSM kids: yeah come on let's hear it now it's time to party, you know what time is it..
he dates all us kids in high school under the bleachers in the showers while were changing for gym class Will: I'm dating oprah Calvin: I'm dating Obama Lisa: I'm dating Indiana's *** Indiana: she's dating Indiana and I'm dating hancock Hancock: he's dating hancock and I'm dating beowulf Beowulf: you know you like it and I'm dating Kung fu panda Kung fu panda: and I'm dating micheal Jackson MJ: heeeee heeeeee don't judge me I love my animals you see Chipmuncks: oh yeah he's dating the chipmuncks sad to say but it's true he dates the chipmuncks and yooooouuuu.
In 2015, she starred in the drama I Smile Back, for which she was nominated for a Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role. After beginning her stand-up comedy in 1992, Silverman was part of the 1993–94 season of Saturday Night Live (SNL) for 18 weeks as a writer and featured player.