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The title of this post is, however, not just for click bait purposes.
I've even felt the judgments from many of my closest white friends.
You, my beautiful rare bird, must be part of the assortment.
“I’m going to marry for love” is such a deeply held belief that’s become an invisible script.
I AM NOT A BUM BY ANY STANDARD AND WORK A GOOD JOB 40 TO 60 HOURS A WEEK.
this past Saturday morning, Martin Shkreli did what he does more or less all the time now: he turned on his computer and began livestreaming on You Tube to his small but feverish fanbase.
Aside from being generally crass, sexist, offensive and reeking of sour grapes, Jonno' article entirely failed to acknowledge that there is, in fact, such a thing as a BLACK South African "girl." Interestingly, even most of the numerous sources that have criticized this article have failed to acknowledge this gaping hole in a conversation (of sorts) about a country where 70% of the population is black. There are a hell of a lot of South Africans - old and young, male and female, black and white and everything in-between - who also continue to be unable to consider dating anyone who isn't more or less the same colour as they are. The blatant staring and incredulity can be boring enough to have to deal with day in, day out.
It's a small adjustment to a very real article that some white Aussie guy called Jonno Something-or-other wrote for Vice a couple of years back entitled 'How to Date South African Girls', which has recently resurfaced on social media. Because if you hadn't guessed by now, I'm white, and my partner is black.
If you're really looking for advice on how to date black South African girls, then this is not the place for you. On one occasion, a child of no more than 10 years old nudged a friend and said much too loud "Look! Waiters and waitresses, both white and non-white, are visibly shocked when my partner takes the bill at a restaurant, as they've obviously assumed she's with me for my money; sometimes black women look at my partner and tut - they seem to feel that having a white boyfriend is some kind of conscious betrayal on her part; we once had to leave a hotel where we were visiting my parents for the day, because my partner felt uncomfortable about the way some old Germans were looking at her as we sat by the pool - something about the situation led her to believe they thought she was my prostitute. People come up and tell us that what we are doing is "important" or "revolutionary" or "special." Though the intentions are undoubtedly in the right place, the inference is in some way the same: that because of our color difference, our relationship must be about something other than just two people who love each other.
Over the past 3 years, I've seen this fact made manifest countless times. People literally stop in their tracks, their jaw falls open and their brain suddenly seems to malfunction. Some days I can make myself ignore it, but sometimes I'm tired, and I just want to be able to hold hands with my partner without feeling people's eyes on us from all sides. Other times I think about telling people that if they're so damn interested by us, we'll let them take a picture for R20.
What really makes a difference in their ability to attract a partner are other, ancillary factors that money enables. The author, Ginger, makes the point that money is a definite factor that women should consider when they choose their long-term partners.